Evan Balster

Real insight isn't hearing your mind cry out; it's listening as it whispers…

Who I Am

If something actually compelled you to click your way to this page, then I can guess your curiosity is either for insight into my character or some measure how inclined I am to prattle on about myself.

This (being an effort at both openness and vanity) should answer both questions.  I can’t really tell you who I am, but I can say things about myself from which you can draw your own conclusions.

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I am a logical thinker with a love for creative endeavors.  So I did the most logical thing I could think of: becoming a game programmer and dabbling in everything  else to some tiny degree.  Some things I’m actually a little good at.

I absolutely love even-grounds collaboration in creative activities.  Specifically, multidisciplinary game development.

If I could find a way to make a reliable but meager income while spending my time making free games, I would take it in an instant over a lifestyle of making commercial games which might occasionally see wide success.  My largest and most successful project to date earns me no money and has been a volunteer effort on my part.

I learned the lesson early on that acquiring regard as an artist doesn’t lead to fulfillment, and hold no illusions about the matter.  I won’t avoid doing so, as a well-known artist can get a message out to a greater audience.  (I’d like to think this is my reason, at any rate.  These things are complicated.)

I maintain a healthy disrespect for authority and advise others to do so as well.  (I am a libertarian, in a sense largely unrelated to the American political party.)  I have on one occasion organized a “mutiny” among coworkers, with my party threatening to quit unless certain demands relating to a creative project were met.

I have assisted in the raising and bottle-feeding of nine orphaned baby raccoons, one crippled squirrel, and the socializing of numerous kittens and puppies.  I logged perhaps a hundred hours or more on horseback in younger years.  The other day I got to handle a milk snake larger than any serpent I’d held before, regarding it as a beautiful animal.  I decided that if I should ever make one a pet its name shall be “snuggles” or some such.

I think extraordinarily little of violence.  I don’t hunt.  I have taken courses in martial arts, but primarily in an attempt to learn self-discipline.

I am good with kids.

Owing to beliefs about health and mass economics, I minimize my consumption of meat.  I would be vegetarian but for the inconvenience.  I enjoy my milk and eggs, however.  On multiple occasions I have made meals of obscene amounts of fresh fruit, and did not regret doing so.

I’m sober in all regards (and will at most make a habit of the odd glass of wine later on) and generally avoid caffeine for not wanting to be dependent on it.  I drink chamomile tea.

I despise nothing more than mass marketing and the effect it has on society.  I’m a horrible, hunched, cursing cynic when it comes to matters of corporate ethics and the like.  (Otherwise, I like to think I’m pleasant if a little excitable)  Today, I considered printing a shirt that says “Save 100% — Don’t fucking buy it”.

I love bicycling.  So much.  Too bad I don’t have a bike right now.

At the age of 20, I have never had a car or driver’s license.  This will change, but only as a matter of not inconveniencing friends and family.  After it has, I plan to make a point of riding my bike twice as often as driving.

I consider myself spiritual, but not religious.  I consider myself secular, but not an atheist.  I like discussing ideology with people of all sorts, but avoid students of philosophy for fear of meaningless semantic arguments.  My own philosophy is a bizarre amalgam formed from snatches of Jungian psychology, dreams, Taoism, Buddhism, and artistic expression.  Perhaps its most important aspect is that there’s a teacher in all of us.

I consider myself a good judge of character.  I’ve tried to explain why on two occasions, both times so shaken to actually articulate the process that I physically shook.  I don’t think I got the idea across.  (The basic gist is that the underlying character of a human being is a surprisingly unified thing–watch someone, step into their shoes, then reconstruct why you act the way you do.  One of those passionate subjects, I guess.)

Though this one should be obvious, I don’t really put a lot of stock in keeping secrets or telling lies for personal reasons.  Both of those things tend to complicate things unnecessarily.  There are certain exceptions, naturally, such as being a confidant to a friend, small wonders that stand to be spoiled by widespread knowledge, or surprises.  Those aside, though, I aspire to be an open book.

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Anyway, that’s all I have to say about myself for now.  Direct hate mail, accusations of egotism, lawsuits, confessions of love, viruses and restraining orders to [evan@infiniteblank.com].

Written by ebalster

January 22nd, 2011 at 1:44 am

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